The Breakup

I honestly still can’t believe it, we’re done. I will never again be able to tell him what’s bothering me, hold his hand; anything like that ever again is over. Those were my first thoughts after we ended, but eventually they turned into me being content and pleased with myself. He got what he deserved. When he broke up with me it didn’t hit me at first. I was in rebuttal. Questions were constantly running through my head like, “Why would he ever do this to me?” and, “When is he going to call and apologize for being so stupid?” Unfortunately none of my questions were answered and remained confounded.
After the breakup, it felt like he didn’t revere me the smallest bit. I mean to end a relationship after nearly six months over texting? I found that a little low. For the first few days I barely ate and only talked to people when needed. Besides the occasional few words to my parents and one-word answers when called on in school, I was a recluse. When I was walking the halls with my head down, tears being held back, aloof from everyone, he was already over it and spent most his time with the new girl. Her name is Rachel.
Even as we were dating they were friends and I was completely fine with that. But I’ll never know if part of the reason he broke up with me was for her. She was pretty, nice, athletic, and overall, a good girl. But when I compare myself to her I still don’t think she is anything special, the fact that she is two years older than me might have had an effect on Trevor though.
Seeing them walk down the hall together all giggly and happy only made me loathe them both more. My only wish was to vilify his reputation because that was the most I could do, so I thought… Eventually my dolefulness turned into anger and I needed to do something about it. I needed something tricky, something furtive. Each time I saw Trevor and Rachel, the happy couple, together my thoughts grew more and more complex.
At first it was just maybe like finding some way to get them mad at each other. Then that grew into getting Trevor in trouble with his parents somehow. Eventually though, I came to a conclusion that I had to all together get rid of him. This wasn’t a quick process; it took almost two weeks to thoroughly think this out. I wasn’t going to be haphazard about it. Keeping it to myself, I fantasized about what I could do to him. “Should I kill him with a knife maybe? Or what about drowning him?” In the end though, I knew it wasn’t enough to just kill him, I had to watch him suffer.
The plan began with me pretending to be sincere and acting like I wanted to get back together with him. Two weeks earlier I would have felt that way, but after he repudiated me and couldn’t even look me directly in the eye changed everything. I couldn’t help it if I was being fickle. My plan was something so clever there was no way I couldn’t get away with it. And because I waited a decent amount of time and acted completely fine in school at that time no one would have suspected it was me who had killed him.
On a Friday in school, I already had in my hand a note written by myself that said, “I’m still so confused and heartbroken. Meet me at my house at 7 pm tonight. P.S. Don’t tell anyone. See you then.” As he walked by me, thankfully that nefarious Rachel wasn’t with him, I grabbed him shoulder and slipped him the paper and continued walking like we hadn’t even stopped. It looked so casual and so perfect.
That day I went through school so sanguine and like nothing or no one could take me down. My perfect plan had begun and seemed impossible to fail. During that last day I even saw Trevor and Rachel walking together which didn’t even bother me. The only thing that was different that day was that I knew him time was going to come. He would get what he deserved from me after how he treated me and lied to me. This wasn’t a fantasy anymore, it was reality.
After school I immediately went home in order to fully prepare for what I had been planning for weeks. Everything was set in place and at this point I was only waiting for one crucial part, Trevor. It was around 7:15 and he still wasn’t there that I began to think maybe he didn’t fall for it. “Maybe he is truly over me and us and there’s just nothing I can do to change that,” was what I thought to myself but I still had high hopes and waited patiently near the window.
More time passed and eventually I saw his beat up and dented car approach the curb bordering my front yard. Quickly, before he got to the door, I made a glance at the mirror, fluffed my hair and made sure I smelt like his favorite perfume still. He knocked on the door and I waited about a minute. I wanted to make sure he waited a bit in the cold before I let him in. One more fast application of lip gloss and I swung the door open and stepped back.
“Well, are you going to let me in or keep me outside?” Trevor asked. It was the first time we had talked since the night he broke up with me, which I wouldn’t consider real talking because it was over texting. His voice was the same as I remembered. So calming and relaxed, almost like we were still together and he was just coming over to hangout. But I knew I couldn’t turn back now. I thought about all he had done and suddenly I was back to hating him with a passion.
“Sorry, yeah you can come in.” I replied after not even realizing I was standing in the doorway a few seconds in silence.
“Thanks, I was really happy when you invited me over tonight. There have been some things that I want to tell you.” I remember his words perfectly and how I almost fell back to him and was going to forgive him on the spot.
“Like what?” was all I could manage to say.
“Well, I think I made a mistake. I honestly never should have broken up with you. These past few months have been really hard and I realized that I want you. I don’t want to just party and I know my friends talked me into breaking up with you for that but I found out that they were completely wrong.” Typical boy was all I could think when he was saying this. When he realized I was the best thing he could get he came crying back to me. But, I wasn’t going to fall for it. Not this time.
“I’m so happy you feel that way, this has been so hard for me and I don’t want anything else but to be back with you!” I only said this because I knew the only way for the plan to workout was if he stayed longer so I managed to cajole him. I gave him a flirty smile and walked deeper into my own house. Of course he followed, and I knew what would have happened after this night if I gave in. Once again he’d hurt me and do the exact same thing to me as before, he didn’t change.
I lead him to the coach. The same place where we had sat so many times before. We began kissing and after a few minutes I pulled away and said, “Let’s go to my bedroom.” With a quick smile he followed me where we slowly made our way towards the stairs. Each step got closer and closer to the real moment. At the apex of the stairs I stopped, turned around, and kissed him so gently.
“Sorry, I don’t think this is going to work out,” and with that as my last words I pushed him down the stairs with as much force as I could. I watched him tumble down the wood stairs and at the end hit his head on to table I had purposely put there. As I look down with assuage I cant help but smile. I knew he wasn’t dead yet.
Slowly I walked down the stairs past him and into the kitchen. In the drawer next to the fridge I grabbed the biggest and sharpest knife there was. I dragged his body outside behind a tree and into a big pit that was there. His body was laid flat on his back and his arms were spread out next to him. These were his last moments. I was in control of when he died. Without any hesitation I stabbed him directly in the heart. I knew this was enough to kill him so I didn’t have to go any further. I spread the gasoline on his body and set it on fire. I had to get rid of the body completely. I also took off my clothes and burned those too, along with the knife. Everything was gone.
About one year later now, I still sometimes think about how he finally got what he deserved and laugh to myself. In the end, I played him right after he had played me. As for everyone else in the town, people were shocked about what happened to him at first. They sent out the police and he was all over the news. Obviously he wasn’t found, or any other clues about where he was. Currently, people still don’t know for sure about what happened to him and I am the only one that will ever know what really happened. What I know I keep to myself though and always will.