Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Scoring A New Cellphone


What makes something valuable to a person? Does it have to deal with how much money it’s worth? People all around the world view their valuables from a different perspective. Whether it’s a person making sure they own that hot new car, or someone else just spending the weekend with their family. All these things can bring happiness and joy to an individual; it just matters on what their own personal feelings are.


In my pocket I can feel the subtle movement against my leg and I can hear the nearly silent humming coming from my jean pocket. Without any hesitation I reach for what is now one of the newest and most important pieces of technology from this century. Coming in all different models and kinds, cell phones are used for calling people, text messaging, internet use, e-mail, navigation, games, and so much more! These devices are so convenient and common. With all these positive qualities, it’s surprising that cell phones are as lowly priced as they are.

Most adults, teenagers, and even some younger kids are taking this technology to their advantage, including me. I will 99 % of the time have my cell phone with me. I use it to not only contact people, but one of my favorite features is the reminders. From waking me up in the morning to get ready for school to helping me to remember and do my laundry, I use it daily.

Another fantastic feature about cell phones is the convenience and accessibility. Without even taking a step, you can reach almost any other person through a phone call, a text message, or e-mail. In current day, people are always on the move. I can be going to school, at a friend’s house, or even needing a ride from my parents and have the option of calling someone a few clicks away. These mobile devices haven’t slowed other people, or me, down one bit.


The soles of my cleats sink into the freshly cut grass. The wind is blowing and the sun reflects against the rain puddles in the parking lot. From one player’s stick to another, the gold ball makes a unique pattern zigzagging across the field. The crowd yells and cheers for my team and with time running out the last goal is made. “We won! We won!” everyone cheers. All the sweat and work worth that one perfect lacrosse game.

I have been playing lacrosse since the spring of fourth grade. At the beginning, it wasn’t about the game; I did it to make new friends! Currently, I still feel strongly about the friend aspect, but I also love the actual skills and the game of lacrosse. Lacrosse, and most other sport teams, allow kids of the same age bond together and help each other. It takes a lot of teamwork but it helps kids meet new friends or people they would usually never interact with. I can honestly say that I have made a connection with all my teammates on not only my town team, but also travel teams where I’ve meet girls from across Western Massachusetts.

A team sport is great for learning new things that you can relate to the real world. Whether it’s teamwork, respect to teammates and coaches, or even sharing, all these can be related to everyday life. Each practice, every game, and even off the field, I give respect to the players on my team and also my coaches. At games, I give respect to the referees and along with the fans that are watching.


The feeling that I get on the field and the relationships I create throughout the season are unforgettable. Every time I have a call coming in or receive a text message I get excited. These are two things that I value extremely. With my cell phone, it’s more the comfort of knowing that I can contact my friends, family, or whoever I need to at any given time. As with lacrosse, I value the friendships I have made and the opportunity to play a game I love. Both of these are a part of my everyday life and I value them greatly.

3 comments:

  1. What does the author seem to be saying about what is valuable? what the author says it valuable is what brings happiness to a person. whether its a hot new car as the author says. or just being around your family. the author believes no matter what it is that makes you happy that is what is valuable. i agree with this.

    Which of the two objects did i find most vividly described? the object that i found most vividly described is the way the author feels about lacrosse. the author puts a lot of detail into the way she feels about lacrosse. also why she plays lacrosse and why she enjoys so much. i can tell how much the author values this because of the way she explains it in the essay.

    In general what is the essays overall strengths? one of the over all strengths this essay has is the organization of it. this is essay is very well organized making this very easy to read. it also improves the flow of the book. this also makes it easier to read. also how the introduction grabs your attention to the subject the essay is about.

    what is one piece of advie or suggestion i would give the author to make it better? one piece i would give the author is make this longer. that way with the essay longer the author can include much more detail. also explain the topics more. this would make the overall essay much more interesting. in turn this would hold the readers attention the whole way through.

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  2. Maddie! I think that you described everything really well. It left a really clear picture in my head. I like the part where you said "The soles of my cleats sink into the freshly cut grass. The wind is blowing and the sun makes reflects against the rain puddles in the parking lot."

    I couldnt find anything that was wrong with your essay.

    Good job, Teetee :)

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  3. What does the author seem to be saying is valuable? Basically Maddie is saying that whatever brings happiness to a person is valuable. Whether it have financial worth or not. She put a couple examples in there too which were the car and hanging out with the family.

    Which of the two objects did i find most vividly described? I think that the cell phone was most vividly described. She talked about how it vibrates in her pocket and how she can instantly do many things with the phone. She mostly talks about meeting other people in lacrosse rather then the lacrosse sport itself.

    In general what is the essays overall strengths? I think the word choice and grammer was strong in this essay. It seemed like she used very good puncuation and grammer and spelling. That is what i think one of the essays overall strengths were.

    What is one piece of advie or suggestion i would give the author to make it better? I think you could maybe describe lacrosse a little more rather then talking about the people around the sport. But other then that, it was a good essay. NICE JOB!

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